April 8, 2018

The Sorry, NOT Sorry Approach | Why I’m apologising less.

FILED IN: The Community

Emma Jane Palin Creative Lifestyle Blog Illustration

Why I’m apologising less. Photo: Rosh Thanki

I could start this post with “Hey guys, sorry I’ve lost my blogging mojo in 2018” but hey, that would be getting off on the wrong foot right? Because I’m totally NOT sorry that things have been a little inconsistent around here. Life happens. I’m not a full-time blogger and I rarely get paid to be here, even if that is out of choice.

Saying sorry is one of my weak points. Yes, I’m British, if you didn’t know. Ever since I decided to start writing this post, I’ve said sorry a number of times when I really shouldn’t have. What is it about apologising for someone bumping into you?! Things need to change. You can be a good person without apologising every two seconds for things that don’t really matter.  I want to say ta-rah to the pointless politeness and hello to a stronger and well-respected EJP. Are ya with me? Here’s how I’m gonna do it.

Emma Jane Palin Creative Lifestyle Blog Illustration

Yellow Shealing Jacket: Topshop (similar here); T-shirt: Topshop; Photo: Rosh Thanki

Check those emails

I reckon that this is a big one that the majority of us are all guilty of. “Sorry for the late reply” – sound familiar? It’s OKAY to be busy, it’s OKAY to keep someone waiting for more than an hour. Hell, it’s OKAY to make someone wait for a week if it’s not vital to your full-time job. I think people sometimes forget that I have one of those. I’ve genuinely had someone apologise to me for not replying within an hour – it’s not very good for setting a standard, right? From now on, I’ll be checking those emails and ensuring that I’m removing any unrequired apologetic words.

Ask myself I have anything to be sorry about?

You know when a friend gets miffed about something and it’s the worst thing in the world and all you wanna do is make-up and tell them how pretty they are, and comment on every single thing they do to forget all about the prior disagreement. Well, news flash, it’s alright to have different opinions; it’s alright to want to do your own thing or hang out with someone else. Even if some minor ego bruising might happen along the way. Sometimes sorry is the right thing to do, but sometimes agreeing to disagree and moving on is the better move. Bowing down to sore feelings isn’t always right and can open a wormhole of future issues when someone doesn’t get their own way. If you truly have something to apologise for, do it. If not, be an adult and forget about it.

Yellow Shealing Jacket: Topshop (similar here); T-shirt: Topshop; Photo: Rosh Thanki

Saying NO is the new saying YES

Last year I said yes to a lot of things, which was GREAT! I opened up my network, I did a lot of new things and I thoroughly enjoyed a busy-bee lifestyle. However, there’s only so much you can do before burning out and picking quality over quantity can go a long way. Say no to events and meetings that you know aren’t going to bring worth or happiness and don’t be apologetic about it.

Stop saying just

Slightly straying from the word sorry here (not sorry) but the term just is another word that starts to demean you as a person. “I’m just a part-time blogger”, “I just do it in my spare time”. No, you don’t just do anything. You’re doing it, it’s amazing and you should be proud of it. I have a great tendency for saying just, so from here on in, I’m removing it from my vocabulary. Asta la vista baby.

Yellow Shealing Jacket: Topshop (similar here); T-shirt: Topshop; Photo: Rosh Thanki

Practising confidence

Having the ability to not say sorry every two seconds tends to come from confidence. Confidence in your abilities, confidence in yourself as a kind and thoughtful person.

I’ve practised confidence over the years. If something has made me feel uncomfortable, I’ve pushed myself to do it and I can hand on heart say that I’ve grown a set of balls as a result (I am sorry for using that phrase, to both women and men). The ability to not say sorry for silly reasons comes from being okay to give someone a momentary sting (that they will forget in approximately 60 seconds). PRACTISE BEING THAT CONFIDENT PERSON AND LESS OF A PEOPLE PLEASER. People pleasing = bleurgh. Great note to end on, eh?

What are your goals for the year to improve your attitude and outlook? LET ME KNOW.


  1. Delali says:

    LOVE THIS and hell yeh to it all x

  2. Chloe Ford says:

    Such a great point and 100% fall guilty of this all the time – the ‘just’ one bugs me so much, I don’t know why I do it!!! x

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Emma Jane Palin is a freelance art consultant, interior stylist and multi-award-winning blogger residing in Margate, UK. She has worked with various home and lifestyle brands not limited to West Elm, Apple, John Lewis, Habitat, MADE, Caran D'Ache + No.3 Gin. Emma is also a regular contributor to Hunker where she writes about design trends and interior advice.

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